Did The Bachelor Make a Huge Mistake Casting Taylor Frankie Paul?

Before the season even aired, Taylor Frankie Paul's run as the Bachelorette became one of the most controversial in franchise history. Now that reports suggest the season air soon and we have a lot of feelings about it.

Was Taylor unfairly villainized? Did ABC knowingly cast someone who wasn't ready for the role? And has The Bachelor lost sight of what made us fall in love with the franchise in the first place?

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why we're so conflicted about watching Taylor's season
• The toxic relationship dynamics between Taylor and Dakota and why it's more complicated than "good guy vs. bad guy"
• Whether ABC bears more responsibility than Taylor herself
• Why emotionally unavailable leads make it harder to believe in the love story
• How reality TV can blur the line between authentic romance and manufactured drama
• Why we believe The Bachelor is at its best when it puts love, not chaos, at the center of the story

Whether you're a longtime Bachelor fan or just fascinated by the psychology of relationships, this conversation goes far beyond reality TV. 

It's about what happens when wounded people try to find love under the brightest spotlight imaginable and whether a franchise built on romance can survive if it starts prioritizing drama over genuine connection.

Are you worried your relationship might be toxic?  Want our advice on your situation?  

Submit a question HERE and we might answer it on air! (you can remain anonymous and the form takes less than 3 minutes to fill out unless you write us a book)

Want more dating advice between episodes?
Follow Nicole on social media
Facebook & Instagram: @iamnicolepowers
TikTok: @datingpowers 

Transcript

Nicole 0:04

Welcome back to Share the Pants. Today we've got some potentially exciting Bachelorette news. According to TMZ, the season starring Taylor Frankie Paul is almost out of Hollywood jail. They're saying there's a chance that it's going to air this month. And there are also rumors that the editors never really stopped working on the season and are still working on it. So it sounds like we're actually gonna get to watch this lost season. And I'm curious, how are we all feeling about that, Joel? Are you excited to watch it, not excited to watch it?

Joel 0:41

I'm definitely way less excited to watch it than any other season.

Nicole 0:45

Yeah, me too.

Joel 0:45

I mean, we talked about it from the second she was announced.

Nicole 0:49

Yeah. So let's do a little mini recap for those who don't watch the show or don't know what has happened. So Taylor Frankie Paul is a social media influencer. She got her big start with TikTok. And then Hulu gave her her own show called The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which has been a show full of drama. And when ABC cast her, both of us were like, What are they doing? Yeah. And I didn't know at the time, but ABC has a new showrunner. And, you know, I just thought the casting choice was really off. And right before her season aired, like the night before, I think.

Joel 1:35

Yeah, I think it was the day before.

Nicole 1:36

Yeah. A video was leaked from 2023. So from two years prior, she's had a court case, a domestic violence court case with her baby daddy on again, off again, just a very toxic relationship. And pretty sure he leaked the video to TV.

Joel 1:56

I think it's basically been confirmed at this point.

Nicole 1:58

Yeah. Of of a night, a drunken night, where she found out he'd been cheating on her and she attacked him and he filmed the whole thing. Yeah. And it was really brutal to watch.

Joel 2:07

It was a horrific video.

Nicole 2:08

Yeah. Especially because there was a child in the room who was screaming and crying and put and may have gotten hit, did get hit with a bar stool. Yeah. And so ABC made the decision to not air her season like the day before. Right. And I was actually like shocked that they made that decision because they cast her. They knew when they cast her, they knew the of the court case. They knew she doesn't have a sparkly, shiny past.

Joel 2:39

They knew this was three years ago. So this this incident happened three years ago. It's all been settled and figured out.

Nicole 2:48

Mm-hmm. And so now more court drama has happened. We'll get into all that. But now maybe we're going to get to see the season that they pulled. Right. So yeah, it w it's hard. I'm really torn about I'm we're gonna watch the season. I mean, that's just like we're not taking a moral high ground on this one and saying like you you shouldn't watch this season. We're definitely gonna watch it. But I do feel torn inside because half of me is like, I want to know what happened. And I think it was silly for ABC to pull a season that they cast, they paid for, and then at the last minute, they just did not have her back at all, is how I see it. But on the other hand, the romantic side of me, the one that really doesn't watch the show for the drama. We actually show up and watch the show for the love and for the all the gooey feelings.

Joel 3:43

Right. That's the best part of the show for me. As someone that cries over the stupidest things.

Nicole 3:48

The sweetest thing.

Joel 3:49

You can confirm. Yeah. I love it. I doubt I'll shed a single tear during this season because I just know that it's not none of it's real. Right.

Nicole 3:59

There's not a hell of a.

Joel 4:00

So we knew we know now that that before the season aired, the night before the sea the night before she went to the Bachelor Mansion, she slept with Dakota.

Nicole 4:10

Yeah, that happened. We saw that, or I saw that, on the Mormon Secret Wives of Mormon Lives show. They showed that storyline. And the the cliffhanger to that show was basically her in the limo pulling up to the Bachelor Mansion, FaceTiming Dakota, and him saying, Save a rose for me, as if maybe he might make an appearance on the show, on the Bachelorette show. Who knows if that happened? I don't think that happened at this point.

Joel 4:39

But yeah, it's and what that's always been topic about that show is that it's all fake, which isn't true. There is fake aspects to it, and there's editing and they do what they do producing to make drama where there's no drama, or love where there's no love, and moments where there's no moments, but there are plenty of couples that have come out of The Bachelor still married, married, still together. Yeah, so it's not all fake, and there is real love on the show. And that's what's so upsetting about this upcoming or past season, however you want to look at it.

Nicole 5:16

Look at it, yeah.

Joel 5:17

Is that it's all it's all fake, and not not necessarily for the guys. There it has to be in the back of the guys' heads, like they knew the shit show that they were coming in on and how unstable she is, and why do you that that Dakota is is still a part of her life, and she has not one, an ex-husband with two children, and also current on again, off again baby daddy boyfriend.

Nicole 5:43

So put yourself in those guys' shoes. Like I'm curious, why would a guy go on a show with all of that in the back of his mind?

Joel 5:49

Well, there's also there's plenty of guys that just do it to do it.

Nicole 5:52

For the clout and for the for the fame and exactly opportunity, yeah. For a free vacation.

Joel 5:57

Free vacation, a chance to be the next bachelor, and plenty of plenty of reasons, but there's all there's always there's always gonna be those guys on the show, and there's always gonna be the guys that are actually looking for a life partner.

Nicole 6:11

So and it does seem like there's at least one or two guys every season who is not a bachelor fan and is not familiar with the show, like their you know, sister or mom nominates them for the show, and they don't know a lot about the lead and and they don't study before, and they get filled in kind of by the other guys. Yeah. And I always feel the worst for those guys.

Joel 6:35

This has to be the heart, like yeah. It's how did no one tell you that this is who they're signing up for, or before the show started, once they knew it was her, no one in their friend group or family group was like, Hey, you need to check this girl out before you Yeah, that's true.

Nicole 6:50

I think it would be hard not to not to have some whiff or hint of this might not be the best. And and in her defense, I do want to I feel defensive of her. Like I do not think she's the villain of her story. I honestly think that Dakota has way more responsibility for a ton of responsibility. What's gone down in their relationship. He provokes her on purpose. They're not healthy together. Neither of them is super healthy. But, you know, if you're in a toxic relationship and you can't seem to find your way out, and ABC comes to you and says, We want you to be the next bachelorette, they're basically handing you a life raft, a lifeline. Like, let me pull you out. And not that ABC was purposely doing that.

Joel 7:35

And a big paycheck, too, right? Just to be fair.

Nicole 7:37

Yes, and a big paycheck. Yeah. And travel and meeting new people. But like if I were really deeply unhappy in a relationship and I could not find my way out, and somebody was like, hey, you want to date 25 really good guys on a luxury vacation and get paid a bunch of a bunch of money, I'd be like, Yeah, that sounds like exactly what I need to get out of this situation. I think she used this opportunity as like a rehab or detox.

Joel 8:03

Yeah, and she said that. I think on the Warman Live show.

Nicole 8:07

Yeah, she did say that, that she felt like this was her opportunity to get away from the city.

Joel 8:10

That's how you're gonna break the cycle.

Nicole 8:12

Right.

Joel 8:12

But dating 25 guys at the same time. Yeah, that's a really great way to get out of a toxic relationship.

Nicole 8:19

I'm not condoning it. I can just see the thought process behind it. Yeah. If I if she were if I were coaching her, I would be like, absolutely not. This is not your next right move. You need to take a break, go on a spiritual retreat. Exactly. Like, let's get you together, let's get you really stable as a single person. And then you can go on the bachelorette. Right. You know. But having been in some hot mess relationships that were legitimately toxic and not being able to find the break, I would have done the same thing. I mean, especially at her age. She's 31. She's, you know, she's had been married very young and had babies and really never been single as an adult. Not really. So I think she, you know, she was just taking whatever she could take.

Joel 9:11

Yeah.

Nicole 9:11

Opportunity or, you know, a way to get out of her current situation.

Joel 9:15

Understandable. And yeah, to go back to Dakota, her her baby daddy, he's a complete manipulator, douchebag. You know, he's really one of the worst of the worst.

Nicole 9:25

Yeah.

Joel 9:25

In my opinion.

Nicole 9:26

I agree.

Joel 9:27

Just intentionally toxic. Even the the judge, after the video came out and and gave him more custody, she only gets him on weekends and only gets their their one son together, gets him on weekends and one day a week. The judge called their relationship very toxic. He said it's beyond the pale in a lot of ways, the toxicity. Violence has occurred both ways. So in that video, we only see because he's recording it, and she's out of her mind, blackout drunk, doing heinous things, throwing bar stools that ricocheted off of him and hit her five-year-old daughter and left a goose egg. And it's I mean, it's a bad, bad situation. But I guarantee you, and the judge could basically confirm that, and that's that's what we're not gonna see. We didn't get to hear her side of it. Because of all, you know, as open as an apparent she is, she actually has she's done this, she's kept her side of the story very private, which basically almost protecting him for some reason.

Nicole 10:28

And I well, that's classic. If you yeah, lots of people in abusive relationships protect their abuser. And you know, women are often not believed in certain circumstances. You know, men do have a privilege that women don't have, and he's actually using because plenty of women abuse men, by the way, but he's using that to his advantage of like, well, I'm the victim here, and and you know, it's funny because when you watch the video, obviously it's very clear that she is behaving abhorrently.

Joel 11:04

Right.

Nicole 11:04

But I also like my intuition was like he's pulled out this phone very intentionally, not to gather evidence, not because he's afraid. Yeah. You know, he's pulled out the phone to have something to hold over her head. And, you know, that's he used it exactly how he intended when he took that when he took that camera out. He knew that he was gonna use it against her, and he did in the most deliberate, manipulative way possible to ruin this big opportunity that came her way because he cannot stand right for her to move on, be happy, like it's all control.

Joel 11:44

It's blatantly obvious too. And and then again, I guess he called the cops on the day after that TMZ report, which was a couple weeks ago, he called the cops on her saying that she broke the restraining order, which is another thing that happened out of that video that was released, is there's a mutual restraining order for both of them to stay a hundred feet away from each other, and he's saying that she broke it, and that and her people are saying he's look, look, once again, here it is, the day after. Oh, look, they're gonna release the season again. And and he calls the cops the next day.

Nicole 12:15

I hadn't heard that. Okay. Yeah.

Joel 12:18

And and now just recently, two just to another blip on I don't know, blip is the right word, but on his reputation, they s he's been riding around with their two-year-old on a motorcycle.

Nicole 12:30

Which is insane.

Joel 12:31

And so he was just ordered to he had to be ordered to stop taking their two-year-old on motorcycle rides. So this is the guy that has custody of their child. It's just a giant shit show.

Nicole 12:44

It is a giant shit show. It's insane, it's absolutely insane. And I feel for both of them because you know, I don't think that people who act this way are bad people. They're both really fucking wounded and being driven by core deep trauma. Like, this kind of behavior doesn't come from nowhere. So I have a lot of compassion for the situation, but also like we live in an age now where we're society is more trauma-informed than we ever have been. We have our finger on the pulse of mental health more than we ever have. There are resources today that have never been like that have never been this high. Like to not like wake up and get help at in this day and age is like, I I don't understand it. I don't understand, especially when everyone around them is very much saying, you two need to stay away from each other, you two need to go to therapy, you two need to get help. And they both have done some therapy on their own. They both have but like you have to be committed. You have to be committed to changing your behavior long term and they just fall back. They're like magnets that just like they just like crash into each other, and when they do, they fucking light everything on fire. Right.

Joel 14:07

Yeah. But yeah, I mean, try having a child together and have a restraining order against each other with joint custody. Well, you even they literally have to have a third party like drop their kids off at each other's houses.

Nicole 14:19

Well, the good thing about being Mormon and living in Utah is you have a big extended family. There are plenty of grandparents. I think those kids are with the grandparents probably more than anybody else. And also, even if you didn't have a community of family around you, you hire a babysitter, you hire somebody to take the kids and drop them off. There is a like it is ridiculous to be like, well, we sh we co-parent, so we we can't stay away from each other. Yes, you can. Yeah.

Joel 14:46

She's got Hulu, TikTok, ABC money now, so she had TikTok money before.

Nicole 14:51

Right. That's what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. It's hard, it's really hard to it's hard to get behind the season in the same way for sure. But like when they when they pulled it, I think that's the other thing. I'm just dying to see it. I just want to know. And I actually really I like her. Like I think that she is one of the most honest, transparent people. And I think that's why people fell in love with her in the first place. She just she tells it like it is. Now, some of the time, it's crazy what's coming out of her mouth. There's no filter. There is no filter, but it does make her lovable because she's and she's willing to tell on herself. She's not trying to like, she's not someone who protects her own reputation. Right. And I think that was one of the things for me is like, you know, she's been painted as this villain and as this abuser, or at least that's how Dakota was trying to paint her, and and I I it backfired, it didn't work. But like for a while, everybody was up in arms about her.

Joel 15:51

It's worked more than you probably think. I mean, we're we're talking about our own opinions, but I'm sure if you go on any internet thread about The Bachelorette this season, I think when TMZ reported that they're gonna release it sometime this month, people are still coming out after her for that video. And so it did it did have an impact. Yeah, a huge impact.

Nicole 16:12

I just don't think it takes uh to steal a phrase of yours, like I just don't think it takes two brain cells to rub together to see who's actually the puppet and who's pulling the strings.

Joel 16:22

I agree, sure.

Nicole 16:24

But yeah, I mean people love to to throw people under the bus and whatever. I don't know. I mean, I guess we we're doing we're culpable too. We're we're throwing Dakota under the bus, but I feel like he deserves it. Yeah.

Joel 16:37

He does deserve it, and and she deserves plenty of blame too.

Nicole 16:41

Yeah.

Joel 16:41

It's for her, as far as the Bachelorette season goes, like I said, it's the it's the guys that I I yeah, I do feel bad for some of them, especially the guy that made it to the end. And but I think the one good thing that could come out of this season is that maybe the guy that won will be the next bachelor and he can actually find actual love actual love, not someone who's just gonna go back to her her baby daddy as soon as the season's over. So like it just feels like it was never real, really real for her. She wanted it to be. I don't doubt that she wanted it to be.

Nicole 17:12

Yeah, I think she wanted it to be.

Joel 17:13

But it just it she wasn't ready for that. That relationship had not come to a good enough closure. Yeah. No. So but yeah, I do blame, you know, I do blame her, but you're right. ABC is more to blame for casting her in the first place.

Nicole 17:29

Yeah, I'm not saying she's scot-free. I'm not, I mean, I feel defensive of her because I feel like she's getting more shade's not the right word, but she's getting more villainized than ABC or Dakota. Like you said, like most of the heat has been on her. I think now the narrative might be shifting a little bit, but I was on her side back then. Like I was like, why are people coming after her? This is not all her. Like, no, you know, this doesn't happen. It's not like she's being abusive. They're both being, I mean, it was just crazy to me that everybody was like, got their pitchforks out, you know, let's get kill the beast, Taylor. And it's like, excuse me, there's two people in this relationship.

Joel 18:09

Yeah.

Nicole 18:09

And it's a dynamic thing.

Joel 18:11

And three, including the showrunner for ABC.

Nicole 18:14

Yeah. And ABC for for freaking making that decision. And I'm glad you brought up the showrunner thing because he just started in 2025. So his first season was Bachelor in Paradise, which I also had an issue with.

Joel 18:27

His only season.

Nicole 18:28

Yeah, his only season, I guess that's right, his only season so far. So one season that I really did not like, and a season that has been pulled, and we don't know if we're gonna get to see it or not. Hopefully we are.

Joel 18:40

I think we are.

Nicole 18:41

Yeah. But yeah, his track record's not so good. And he's not from The Bachelor world. He came from other reality shows. And I do feel like whether it's him and ABC combined, what whoever's pulling the strings behind the scenes, like I feel like they've all Bachelor has always like rode this line between the love story and the drama. And they suck people, they they do capitalize on the drama by sucking people in. I mean, one of the things that, you know, is pretty funny about The Bachelor is that every preview makes it look like some real shit's gonna go down next episode. And then when you see it, you're like, they've that that didn't even happen the way they cut all that together. So they definitely manipulate the audience and hook them into the next episode.

Joel 19:27

But but but and seems like they're gonna give away the ending most of the time.

Nicole 19:30

And they don't, and then they don't. Yeah. And and you know, when Chris Harrison was the host, he would always say the most dramatic season ever, and it became this joke because every season's the most dramatic season ever. And yeah, but it's like they they've always used the drama to gain the audience, but I feel like the show was still still a pure pretty pure as a romance show. And now it feels like it's just going in this direction where like let's just put the shit show out there and you know, I guess hope nobody really cared about the romance part. Like, I don't know what the like what are they even doing?

Joel 20:08

They just he leaned into the drama. Like it's a new it's a new showrunner, like we just said, and he leans into the drama. He's that's clearly his MO. And I hope it hopefully because based on this, he gets fired and they get a new person already, in my opinion.

Nicole 20:20

Yeah, I agree.

Joel 20:21

Because that's just I I don't know. It's not the show we fell in love with. That's not the route to go down.

Nicole 20:27

No, no.

Joel 20:28

Trash TV was in the 90s. Let's leave it there.

Nicole 20:31

Let's leave Jerry Springer in the Jerry Springer days. We know how that turned out.

Joel 20:35

Yeah, there's and there there should be drama, and there's that is a good that is a big part of these shows, is yeah, finding the drama.

Nicole 20:41

But usually it's like one or two drama people. Exactly.

Joel 20:44

Not the show is drama, and not the person that's your main character is usually not the I don't know if that's you watched the show way longer than I've only watched it I've seen it since season one, every episode. Yeah, I'm only in it since we got together, so four years now.

Nicole 21:00

And well, ABC did break tradition. So the first show is The Bachelor, and then the first Bachelorette was cast from the season of The Bachelor, and they've done that. You know, every every bachelor or bachelorette has come from a previous season. This is the first time they've cast somebody that is not in the bachelor world, and so they went outside of there for who knows what reason. I suspect to increase to to get a different market. Like Taylor Frankie Paul has a massive following. They wanted those people, yeah, and they wanted those numbers. And I mean, they did it for a specific reason. I'm just guessing why, but sure, you know, it's it wasn't a good decision from the day they did it. And hopefully this showrunner is like, oops, and either gets fired or behaves moving forward. Like, you know, don't fix something that's I mean, don't what's the saying? Don't yeah, don't fix something that's not broken. Right.

Joel 22:00

And but I mean, do we know the numbers? Maybe the numbers have been going down and I don't know any of that. That could be why they changed showrunners in the first place and are changing direction in the first place. But either way, it's a bad move. And it bit them in the ass. I guess we'll see.

Nicole 22:16

If if this season comes out and it's the most watched season ever, then it could be because I mean, you know, I think one of the things that I don't necessarily love about my thought process, right? Like, is that because we did we haven't gotten to watch it, I want to watch it even more, right? Like you want what you can't have. And so it could, it could boost it, but yeah, I don't know. I doubt it. Yeah.

Joel 22:42

And plus just on A B season, they had a show scheduled for the next what eight to twelve weeks. And then now they had to scramble and find something else. So that alone is enough to piss the higher ups at Disney off.

Nicole 22:58

Hopefully. Yeah, hopefully. Let's get rid of this guy. Let's get somebody in here who's committed to the romance.

Joel 23:03

So we'll see what happens.

Nicole 23:05

Yeah, we'll see. So we'll stay tuned. And and I do think that it no matter what, even though we know that we're not getting the happy ending, we know how what the outcome is. I think it's gonna be fruitful to talk about on the podcast because I think there are gonna be a lot of relationship dynamics. Like she is not a healed person, and she is a wounded person, and wounded people date differently than healthy people. And I think there will be some really good talking points to learn from as we watch the season. So I think regardless of the fact that you and I aren't gonna enjoy it as much as we normally do, I think it'll be good for our podcast. I think it'll be good for breaking it all down.

Joel 23:50

Yeah, it'll bring up plenty of issues within relationships.

Nicole 23:54

Yeah. So now you guys are updated and hopefully we'll have some juicy things to talk about as we watch this season together, whenever it may come out. Right. All right. Okay. Yeah, bye.